My friend and co-worker Rob Snyder recently filmed a short documentary entitled “Hindsight.” In it, several people contemplate what they would do differently if they had the power to go back in time and change anything in their lives. Needless to say, it’s a wonderful film – Rob is working on getting a license for the music used in the film, so it’s not available for public viewing, so you’ll have to take my word for it. Once the licensing is squared away, I will post a link to the film.
My initial thought after pondering the question was that I’d go back to the start of my freshman year in college and make a lot of changes to my time in college. For a variety of reasons, some having to do with external circumstances and most having to do with how I reacted to those circumstances, my time in college was not particularly enjoyable. In addition to being an unenjoyable time, I feel like I could have gotten a lot more out of my classes and set myself up for more success in my career.
However, the more I thought about it, the more I realized that changing my time at college would, in addition to changing some things for the better, would change many things for the worse. I met my wife at my first job after college, and I also made several good friends (including Rob) at that job. If I had taken a different career path after college, I likely would have never met them. My life would certainly be poorer for never having taken that job.
The more I thought about what I would change if I had the chance, the more I realized that I wouldn’t change anything. For better or worse, all of the choices I’ve made and experiences I’ve had have made me the person I am today. We are, after all, the sum total of our experiences. If I changed what were some of the foundational aspects of my personality, I would be a different (perhaps radically different) person than I am today. On balance, that’s not a deal I can make.
While I might wish that some things had been easier or gone differently over the course of my life, Rob’s film helped me to realize that you can’t change one thing without changing everything.